Sure, talking to a girl can be scary, especially if you don’t have a lot of practice. But if you build up your confidence and know how to make a girl comfortable, then you’ll be on your way to getting any girl you want, without worrying about what you look like. If you want to know how to catch a girl’s eye and to keep her interest, see Step 1 to get started
Getting a Girl to Like You
Be approachable. If you want to get a girl’s attention, then you have to make it look like you actually want her to come up to you. This may seem obvious, but you’ll be surprised by how unapproachable you may look just because you’re nervous about talking to the girl. If you want her to like you, then you can’t act like you’re too busy, too cool, or too distracted to talk to the girl. If she comes up to you, put away your phone, stop looking around, and give her your attention. Here are some other ways to be approachable:
- Smile at the girl if she walks over to you or passes you.
- Use open body posturing; don’t stand around with your arms crossed.
- Be aware of your resting facial expressions; don’t scowl or glare at her or anyone else.
- Don’t fidget or look down at the floor.
Exude confidence. If you’re worried about approaching a girl no matter what you look like, then you may lack some confidence when it comes to your looks. That’s okay: most guys doubt their appearance now and again. However, if you want to get the girl, you don’t have to be the most handsome guy in the room, but you should act like you’re happy with how you look. If you’re not pleased with your appearance and don’t carry yourself confidently, the girl will be able to tell, and she’ll be less likely to talk to you. Here’s how you do it:
- Stand tall when you walk up to her.
- Look her in the eye.
- Remind yourself that you are worthy of her attention.
- Avoid making fun of yourself or putting yourself down too much.
Be yourself. If you’re trying to be someone else, your love interest will never have a chance to like you because she will never know who you really are. Though you can work on self-improvement and on being more appealing to girls, you shouldn’t have to change your entire personality to get a girl’s attention. If you’re being dishonest or not being yourself at all, the girl will be able to tell and she won’t be impressed. Remember that, at the end, the girl has to like you for who you really are.
- When you meet a new girl, yeah, the goal is for her to like the person who you really are, at the end of the day. But that doesn’t mean you should put it all on the table at the beginning — getting to know you will be a process. You don’t have to tell her about your bug collection or your obsession with video games until you know each other better.
Learn to communicate effectively. Communication is important in all areas of life, not just talking to your potential future girlfriend, so you should work on improving your communication skills. A lot of guys, especially if they are in high school younger, have a hard time really communicating with girls, or even with other guys, and if you’re comfortable enough to have a meaningful conversation with the girl, then you will stand out to her. Here are some ways to communicate effectively:
- Ask her questions. Show that you care about her life.
- Listen to her. Don’t interrupt her when she’s trying to tell you something.
- Compliment her and learn to take her compliments.
- Learn to express her feelings when the time is right.
Support her. This does not mean you have to buy her tons of presents or pay for every meal that she eats. Emotional support is key to keeping a girl’s attention. Simple things like listening to her when she has had a bad day or congratulating her on a recent accomplishment go a long way. Once you get to know each other, you have to show her that you’re supportive of her goals and daily life, and will be there whether she’s having a great day or a terrible one. Show that you’re not only there for the good times.
- Finding ways to support her, from going to her soccer games to texting her to see how her math test went, can show her that she’s always on your mind.
- Remember that her goals are just as important as yours. Take her goals and accomplishments seriously so she knows that you really care.
Be fun to be around. Though girls want a guy that they can have a meaningful connection with, they also want to have some fun. Girls should see you as a guy who is easy to hang out with, who makes them laugh, and who is easily able to just go with the flow. You don’t want to be seen as a stick in the mud who is always complaining or only wants to do the same three things all the time. Here are some ways to be fun to be around:
- Plan an adventurous date for the two of you or for a group of her friends. Go hiking, build a fort, or just do something wild and crazy.
- Don’t complain about activities she wants to share with you. Try them out! You never know what you will enjoy doing when the company is right.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to poke fun at yourself, and the girl will be more comfortable around you.
Have good manners. Belching at the dinner table, telling racist jokes, or making fun of people is no way to win a lady’s heart. Treat her with the same kindness and respect that you would show to your mother. Remember that she is not your closest bro friend, and she won’t laugh at all of the same jokes. You don’t have to be incredibly proper around her, but you should be respectful and say things that make her feel comfortable.
- Hold doors for her.
- Be polite to the people around you, too, from teachers to waiters. If you’re nice to her, but rude to others, the girl will notice.
- If you really want to stand out from the other guys out there, then having good manners is one of the best ways to do it. Unfortunately, it’s all too common for guys to have terrible manners. If you have good manners, the girl will see you as mature and worth knowing.
Get comfortable talking to girls. You should practice approaching females, even if they are not the ones you are interested in pursuing. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it certainly helps. Spend some time approaching new girls and making new friends. Not only will this help with nervousness, but it will help you develop your own style of interacting with girls that you like. The more comfortable you get with talking to girls, the more likely you’ll be to be yourself and to stop worrying about rejection.
- You should work on being nice to all of the girls around you, not just the girls you like. You want to get a reputation of being a nice guy.